Don't punish your children very often or very harshly!

Punishment is always harmful to the child even if it seems to achieve the parent's goal. It is impossible to punish your child without harming him/her. Research studies in child development have consistently shown that among the undesirable side effects of punishment are:

1. The child will try to escape from or retaliate (fight) against the punishing situation.
2. The child will have negative feelings toward whoever punishes him/her.
3. Punishment usually remains effective only when the possibility of punishment is clearly present.
4. And, very importantly, punishing a child teaches the child that using punishment is the right way to raise children so they are likely to use punishment with their children - thus perpetuating (continuing) forever the use of punishment in society.

The alternative to punishment should not be permissiveness (meaning to let your child do anything they want), if there is anything more harmful to the child's development than punishment it is permissiveness. The right alternative to punishment in raising a child is called "directed positive influence."

Directed positive influence means to reward (with praise, your positive attention, or an occasional small gift) your child after they do things that are good and right, while gently providing correction when your child does wrong.

In Islam if it becomes necessary to correct your child for some wrongdoing this must be done according to a certain rules:

1. First, you should explain to your child in a gentle way how they have overstepped some limit from rightness into wrong, explain how their behaviour is not consistent with the Will of Allah and offer them guidance as to what Allah has told us is the right way to act.
2. Second, if the gentle instruction does not result in the child correcting their wrong behaviour, you should indicate your disapproval of that wrong behaviour by withdrawing your favour (for example, do not give smiles, hugs or kind words to your child at such times).
3. Third, and only as a last resort, your child can be physically punished (beaten) if they do not correct their wrong behaviour.

In Islam, while you are allowed to beat your child it is most certainly not encouraged. If it becomes necessary for you to beat your child there are specific rules and limitations:

1. You may not hit your child on the face or stomach.
2. You may not hit your child more than a maximum of three times.
3. And, you may not hit your child hard enough to leave a cut or bruise on the skin.

Additionally, You should never hit your child when you are angry. Not only are you then more likely to become excessive in your punishment, but doing so will teach your child that it is right to hit people when they are angry.


It is important to realize that if you reach a point where you feel it is necessary to beat your child then something has gone badly wrong, and you previously have not done all you could have done to avoid this becoming necessary.


Since it is a fact of learning that you cannot punish a child without harming him/her, so punishment can only become necessary if you have no positive alternative, and the good that comes from being punished will outweigh the harm you do to your child.

Remember, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) never once in his life hit a child, a woman or a servant.

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How to aid your child when they goes to school

 Good Communication Helps Children Succeed In School

Children spend one-half of their waking hours in school or school-related activities. Studies show that children whose parents are involved in their education do better in school than children whose parents are uninvolved.

One of the best things you can do to become more active in your child's academic life is to communicate with your child's school. You can do that very easily by:

· Talking to teachers and staff when things are going well for your child. Offer compliments to teachers during conversations or through notes and phone calls.

· Addressing problems as they arise. Share your concerns immediately, while the issue is still small and manageable. Ask how things are going, and find out what you can do to improve the situation.

· Arming yourself with questions you want answered. Be prepared, especially if you will be attending a school activity that includes your child's teachers.

· Volunteering your time. Join the local PTA, or find other ways to be part of your child's world.

Posted by: Love Iman Centre at 11:23 pm ( 17/8/2011)

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New Update !!!

Assalamualaikum to all....

Eid Mubarak celebration has finished. Although the memory of that happy and sacred time will always be in our heart. So here are the memory of Eid Mubarak that will always be in Love Iman Centre's heart. Enjoy our picture!!!....

Click on the link below to see the picture of Hari Raya at Taska Love Iman.
http://loveimangallery.blogspot.com/2011/10/hari-raya-aidilfitri.html

Kasih Sayang tiada noktah

Setiap anak di kurniakan ibu bapa. Tetapi sejauh mana boleh kita buktikan kasih dan sayang kita kepada ibu bapa sendiri. Adakah cukup sekadar memberi wang setiap bulan .Adakah itu bukti kasih sayang kita kepada mereka.

Ada kisah yang ingin dikongsikan di sini. Kisah seorang anak yang sanngup berkorban untuk menjaga bapanya yang sedang menderita sakit buah pinggang walaupun terpaksa berjauhan dengan suami tercinta. Ibunya telah meninggal dunia sejak dua tahun yang lalu.
Tiga hari seminggu, dia akan membawa bapanya ke pusat dialisis untuk menjalani rawatan. Setiap keperluan bapanya di urus dengan baik. Walaupun mempunyai adik-beradik yang lain, tetapi bapanya amat selesa dengan anak perempuannya yang seorang ini. Setiap kali dia menghantar bapanya untuk menjalani rawatan, segala keperluan untuk bapanya di penuhi, antaranya menyuapkan makan, memakaikan stoking dan lain-lain.

Kalau di lihat kerja itu memang nampak mudah, tetapi melayan kerenah orang tua, bukan semudah yang disangkakan. Kita perlu banyak bersabar, begitu juga, ibu bapa bersabar membesarkan kita sehingga kita dewasa. Tetapi berapa ramai anak yang sanggup untuk menghabiskan masa menjaga orang tua walaupun mempunyai segulung ijazah .

Adakah kita mampu untuk menjaga ibu bapa kita seperti itu? Belum tentu lagi kita mampu untuk melakukannya. Sekarang mungkin kita akan kata kita mampu untuk menjaga ibubapa kita, tetapi bila tiba masanya, kemana kita pada waktu itu. Sibuk mencari wang sehingga mengabaikan kedua ibu bapa kita.
Cuba fikirkan sejenak, berapa kali kita melawat ibu bapa kita, itu pun setahun sekali pada hari raya. Dan yang menetap bersama ibu bapa, sejauh mana kita telah berbakti kepada mereka. Membantu meringankan kerja mereka dirumah, itupun sudah cukup melapangkan hati mereka melihat anak membantu keperluan di rumah selain bantuan kewangan.

Tetapi persoalannya, adakah kita melakukannya?.
Banyak bukti menunjukkan bahawa berbakti kepada kedua ibubapa adalah persoalan penting dalam islam. Allah menegaskan hal ini dalam firmannya:
"Allah telah menetapkan agar kalian tidak beribadah selain kepada-Nya; dan hendaklah kalian berbakti kepada kedua ibubapa". (Al-Isra' :23)
Allah talah meletakkan keredhaan-Nya pada keredhaan ibubapa.Rasul bersabda ;
"keredhaan Allah bergantung pada keredhaan kedua ibubapa.Kemurkaan Allah bergantung pada kemurkaan ibubapa" (HR.BUKHARI DAN MUSLIM)

Marilah kita sama-sama renungkan pengorbanan ibu bapa kita yang tiada penamatnya. Jasa mereka tidak mampu kita balas walaupun dengan jutaan wang ringgit. Apa yang penting, kasih sayang kita pada mereka yang tiada hentinya. Doakan kesejahteraan mereka di dunia dan akhirat, Jadi lah anak yang tahu mengenang jasa ibubapa. Hargailah pengorbanan mereka.